You are here: Home / Personal Growth / How to Find Opportunity through the Twists and Turns of Life

How to Find Opportunity through the Twists and Turns of Life

February 24, 2013 By 13 Comments

“And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again.” 

- The Cave by Mumford and Sons

When we face a crisis it can difficult to handle. Any upheaval in life, from problems with our health, relationships, or career, can lead us to question the path we’re on and the person we’re becoming.

Fortunately it’s possible to turn a bad event into a moment of growth and development.

I do recognize that there are certain events that are completely tragic and I’m not trying to minimize these types of experiences.

Pain is difficult at any level, but for those more anticipated life obstacles, we have a choice to either let them keep us down, or find a way to use them to better ourselves.

The field of positive psychology has explored the concept of post-traumatic growth, which refers to the positive changes that can occur from life struggles.

People can bounce back from difficult situations with greater mental strength. We can gain a new perspective on life, become more grateful, and recognize how strong we really are.

If you’re going through a trying time, consider these six questions to help you grow stronger through adversity.

1. How has this changed my priorities about what is important in life?

A difficult turn of events can help us view life from a new perspective where we learn what is really important to us. A classic example is the person who by misfortune loses their prestigious, time consuming job, and rekindles the relationships with family to become happier and realize they’re better off. Sometimes misfortune can lead us to be more open and honest with ourselves.

2. What appreciation have I gained for the value of my own life?

I’m sure you’ve had close calls where your life flashed before your eyes. We don’t always fully appreciate what we have until we recognize it is all impermanent. These are the moments where we become thankful for being alive. During any struggle we can find greater appreciation for life, and end up feeling more grateful for what we have.

3. How has this changed my life path for the better?

Life’s course rarely allows predictable straight shots. Sometimes the path we didn’t expect to travel is the one we find ourselves most connected to. The unpredictable path can be the one to make us a better-rounded human being, and allow us to rekindle old passions.

4. How has this increased my understanding of spiritual matters?

Maybe through struggles you have gained a stronger faith, or it allowed you to connect with a higher power that previously felt distant. Any life changing experience can lead us to be more spiritually aware, which is exactly where personal strength and life’s miracles come from.

5. How has this brought me closer to others? 

Times of sadness can bring us closer to those we care about. Our relationships offer us support and solace to help us dig our way out of the mess we are in. From this we can learn a great deal about how wonderful people are, and how important they are in our life.

6. How have I become stronger than I thought I was? 

The more challenging moments we rise to, the more we learn how much we can handle. We realize that, “If I can get through this, I can get through anything.” Resilience and mental toughness are learned as we confront the hazards of life and come away intact.

We won’t always find a good answer to all of these questions, but we can usually find some meaning and significance in most obstacles. Remember to stay optimistic and look for the lessons in the obstacles that you face.






 Have you enjoyed the content on this site? Sign-up to receive articles by email!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Filed Under: Personal Growth Tagged With: , , , , ,
  • http://www.acalltoaction.net/ Trevor Wilson

    These words you wrote, “Resilience and mental toughness are learned,” are absolutely true. Even when we feel crushed and defeated, we learn to be stronger.

    We always learn to be stronger.

    It’s human nature.

    Adversity hurts. It scars. It demoralizes. But it always makes us stronger. Whether we recognize that strength is up to us, but it’s there nonetheless.

    Pain will happen no matter what. It’s out of our control. But how we respond to it is entirely in our own hands.

    Cheers!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Stevens/100001219009939 David Stevens

    Hi Joe,
    Good pointers and an important message right here…..“If I can get through this, I can get through anything.” Many of the lessons that we learn come from discomfort. Thankyou for this.

    Be good to yourself
    David
    Life Coach. Listener. Life Lover.

  • Joe @ Shake off the Grind

    Hi Trevor,

    I totally agree that it is human nature. We are creatures with the ability to adapt and progress through any circumstances. We can look through history and see countless examples of how humanity withstood terrible adversity to come away stronger and more whole. I appreciate your comment! Great stuff!

  • Joe @ Shake off the Grind

    Hi David,

    It is powerful when we look back over our life and consider all the times we persevered and made it through difficult situations. Do so can really be an eye opener to realize how resilient we are. The pressure from life is what shapes our character. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • http://joshuawilner.com/ Josh

    Sometimes a crisis is the best way to determine who we are and what we are made of. It is not always easy to see it at the moment, but afterwards we sometimes find little nuggets of gold to hold onto.

    At least that is the theory…

  • http://www.hitenvyas.com/blog Hiten Vyas

    Hi Joe,

    Wonderful advice in your post, my friend.

    In particular, I could really resonate with what you wrote for point 1. With certain life challenges it seems like we’re losing out on something. However, there is usally something we are gaining as well. It can be useful to consciously make some effort to find out what we are gaining and consider how this can help us grow and move forward.

    Thank you.

  • http://aMINDmedia.com/ Anne-Sophie

    Great questions, Joe! I find that nothing in life happens in vain IF and only IF we choose to learn from what we’ve gone through. Yes, hard times suck, but they can help us to grow and change the course of our lives completely – and sometimes make us even happier than we were before.

  • Joe @ Shake off the Grind

    Hi Josh,

    Thanks for commenting! I think you are right on that we probably won’t realize it at the moment when we are going through something that is molding us into a stronger person. I think the most respected people are one’s who have gone through something difficult and used it to refine their character. We can all learn to do this by asking different questions during these moments.

  • Joe @ Shake off the Grind

    Hi Hiten,

    Great to hear from you! Yes, I believe every change we go through in life holds both obstacles and opportunities. I try to remind myself to also look for opportunities during these life transitions. It makes a difference.

  • Joe @ Shake off the Grind

    Hi Anne-Sophie,

    Thanks so much for commenting! It can be reassuring when we develop a perspective that things happen for a reason. It offers us a way to make meaning out of what can feel like chaos. And as you mention, in the end we can even become a more whole person because of this.

  • Ken Wert

    Great article, Joe!

    When pain strikes, one of three things happen: 1. We crumble under its weight and become angry, cynical and/or depressed. 2. We feel the pain, let it pass, then go about our lives none the wiser. Or 3. We grow. We learn. We come into contact with parts of our character in need of tweaking.

    How we choose to respond to the pain ultimately determines whether the pain will be arbitrary and meaningless or whether it will take us to the next level.

    One of the questions I like to ask myself in moments or circumstances of pain is this: “What have I learned about myself because of this challenge?” Or, “What is life (or God) trying to teach me?”

    I’ve found these questions can be very powerful in directing our thoughts to the lessons learned instead of remaining focused laser-like on the pain it causes. But you have armed me with an arsenal of additional help that I am grateful for.

  • Pingback: How to Step Up to Challenges Using the ABC's of Resiliency | Shake Off the Grind

  • Joe @ Shake off the Grind

    Hi Ken,

    Thanks so much for stopping by! I actually just applied some of your insight to a new post. I mention that when faced with adversity we can give up, put up, or step up. When we step up to the challenge we can usually find some value.I appreciate the comment!