Reframe your Identity and Have a Self-Revolution

Photo by Martin Gommel

If you were asked to describe yourself, what would you say?

Write down the first five things that come to mind.

Maybe you described yourself by the roles you fulfill and how you relate to others? You might be a mother, father, brother, sister, employee, and student. Maybe you described character traits or attributes such as kindness, compassion, being funny, shy, or outgoing. Maybe you even wrote down areas that you’re not proud of, such as viewing yourself as lazy, angry, and overwhelmed. Maybe you didn’t even know what to write.

Regardless of how you describe yourself, the important thing is beginning to uncover your self-identity and the beliefs you hold about yourself. Your self-identity is your sense of who you are and what you stand for. It’s the foundation for all the decisions you make in life.

For instance, how would your behavior be different if you identified with being lazy vs. self-motivated? What about being shy vs. outgoing?

People behave in accordance with their identity. If you want to change your behavior and how you feel, change the beliefs you hold about yourself.

It’s time to expand your identity and develop empowering beliefs. You need to dig deep and uncover your ideal self-image where you can see the vast opportunities in front of you.

It’s time to create your identity!

Experience an identity crisis

Not knowing who you truly are can often lead to confusion and uncertainty. Maybe you never really discovered who you are and what you stand for, or maybe you’re going through a major life transition and are experiencing serious change. Either way, working through this identity crisis may be exactly what you need to bring your life back into harmony and start working toward your destiny.

An identity crisis is a crucial part of becoming the person you want to be, and developing the beliefs that coincide with this ideal you.

Think of this as developing an “I am…” statement. One in which no life changes or loss can disrupt the view of who you are. It becomes the essence of your being and holds true through thick and thin.

This is why many people develop a mission and values statement. It’s a way to ingrain a healthy, stable, and secure belief about who they are.

Really begin to uncover the principles, values, and passions you want to be the foundation for your behavior and decision making.

Stand for what you believe in

How does your identity relate to others and your surroundings? One of the strongest foundations that affect self-identity is the acquaintances and people we surround ourselves with. Social acceptance is one of the primary areas of concern for many people who are confused about whom they are and how they fit in. People want to be accepted, supported, and simply liked by others. Though letting social approval dictate the decisions you make can prevent you from taking profound steps and making progress.

There will be people who don’t agree with the decisions you make and won’t believe in your ability to succeed. Part of reaching for your potential will be to keep faith when others criticize your vision, and to stay strong in the face of adversity. There will come a time when you have to stick to your vision and take the steps you know to be right despite disappointing others.

When you have a clearly defined self-identity and know what you stand for, making important decisions will be natural and intuitive, regardless of what others are telling you.

Focus on your strengths

Self-identity relates to the your skills, talents, and abilities. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, so don’t simply dwell on what you can’t do, focus on developing those talents and skills that can take you to the next level. Begin to identify with your strengths and reframe the way you view your set-backs.

Maybe you aren’t as successful as someone else or aren’t where you want to be in life. Instead of focusing on everything you’re lacking, recognize that you are making progress and how much you’ve learned along the way.

Reframing is a powerful tool to change the reference point with which we view our situation, and to begin identifying with the gains being made and not the loss or lack of progress.

Identity Achieved

When your identity is achieved, you will be able to tell someone with passion and conviction the purpose, values, and principle with which you live your life by. These will be the foundation for all decisions you make, whether in relationships or business.

It’s time to really consider how you’ve been viewing yourself and the strong implications this has on how you behave and what you’re willing to do. Stop identifying with limiting and self-defeating qualities.

It’s time to create a character of courage, serenity, and dignity, and recognize the inherent power that you have to fulfill you destiny.

Keep Reading Related Posts:

What Shade are your Lenses? How to Experience a Paradigm Shift

How to Transform into the Person you Want to be

Design your Future: How to Develop a Big Picture Vision

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mick-Takeshi/644755572 Mick Takeshi

    I’m digging what you say about standing for what you believe in. I want to be a chef and nothing else. As soon as I ignored my office job and focused on nothing but making food, my life has changed for the better in ways I couldn’t even imagine before.

  • http://upfromsplat.com Ande Waggener

    Bravo! What you call reframing your identity, Joe, I call “telling a different story.” In narrative psychology, you look at the story you’ve always told about yourself, the theme you’ve come up with (like I’m not good enough or whatever) and see how you fit all your experiences into that story because you’re always looking at the world through the perception of that story. You’ve done a great job of explaining how we can change that.

    Interesting that you speak of not knowing who you are. My husband had a head injury 4 years ago that wiped out his lifetime memories. Although muscle memory is in place and basic likes and dislikes remained the same (this I know because I tried to convince him he likes cooked broccoli ;) ), his self story changed tremendously. He had no past to hinge it on so he made a new one, and I was careful not to dredge up old negative stuff that would take him back to the old story. It was a confusing and tough time for him and still is sometimes because he doesn’t remember his parents or old friends or our past other than the last 4 years, but it’s also very freeing. And I’ve benefited by being around his fresh, “four year old” energy. :)

  • http://twitter.com/thebridgemaker Alex Blackwell

    Inspiring post Joe. It’s so important to stand by what we believe. When we do, more confidence, happiness and certainty comes into our life. And when this happens, our self-identity is strengthened even more.

    Alex

  • Joe – shakeoffthegrind

    Alex,

    Thanks for commenting! It can be tough to follow what we know to be the correct path when others are telling us we’re wrong and can’t do it. When we are able to stand for what we know to be true and right it empowers us to make truly significant decisions, and this comes from a clear and resolute self-identity.

  • Joe – shakeoffthegrind

    Ande,

    Thanks so much for commenting and sharing your story here! I really like the notion of “telling a different story.” In fact I think that the way we envision our future and replay our past is essentially a story we tell ourselves. Particularly when consider a future outcome we are telling a story. We don’t know what will happen so it’s utterly up to our imagination how things will turn out, until they actually do. Thanks for sharing your husbands experience and how there really can be a shift in how we identify with the world around us. It very fascinating and I’m glad you all are able to see value in the experience. Nice to meet you!

  • Joe – shakeoffthegrind

    Mick,

    Thanks for commenting! I glad to hear you’re following your passion and the power this change in focus has provided you. I think this is a great example of what can come when we trust ourselves and begin to shape our life for the better.

  • alternaview – Sibyl

    Joe: I thought this was a great post and great advice. It really is so important for us to define who we are and then make certain we are comfortable with that definition and living in alignment with it. I think that is when we are really able to identify the ways we want to grow and make certain we are always moving in a direction that is consistent with who we want to be. I really plan to reflect on this question and make certain my answer is in line with how I live. Thanks for the recommendation.

  • Joe – shakeoffthegrind

    Sibyl,

    Thanks so much for commenting! “Who we are” is such an important question to consider and really define. We act in accordance to our identity and belief about ourselves, so defining ourselves in terms of positive and productive attributes is crucial to living an effective life. By changing how we define ourselves we can begin transforming the life we lead and really reach toward our goals.

  • http://brite-talk.com Andrea DeBell – britetalk

    Hi Joe!
    I love how you end the post “Stop identifying with limiting and self-defeating qualities.” That’s actually what life is all about, creating an identity that’s unlimited and free. The lessons we learn and the personal growth all lead to eventually free ourselves from the roles we decided to play.
    Thanks for this enlightening post! Loving blessings!

  • Joe – shakeoffthegrind

    Andrea,

    Thanks so much for the comment! You are so right about freeing ourselves from the roles and messages we identify with. When we look around in everyday life we are bombarded with negative messages and unrealistic expectations. These can lead us to identify with unhealthy ideals or crooked notions about who we are. We have to create a healthy belief and focus that we want reflected in our actions. Thanks again!

  • http://realsimplepeople.com/ John Sherry

    Wow, what an opening Joe! And why not? It took me years to know where I started and where everyone else and the world stopped. Self-enquiry is one of THE most powerful actions we can ever take and be asked the 5 things we’d describe ourselves is right up there with the best. After all what lies at the heart of confIDence – yep, our ID! Totally fabulous post Joe, one of the best I’ve ever read!!

  • Joe – shakeoffthegrind

    John,

    Thank you greatly for your kind words and comment! I really hope others can also recognize the power of identification and what we think of ourselves as much as you. Asking ourselves “Who am I?” really isn’t a simple question to answer. I believe it’s worth taking time and uncovering all the we are capable of and meant to be. Once we get a stable foundation of who we are, we can experience anything and stay true to this notion. Thanks again!

  • Andrea

    I am subscribed and would love to get your ebook.  Many Thanks!  andrea@foxall.com

  • Joe – Shakeoffthegrind

     Hi Andrea,

    I’ll send you the link at the email you provided. Thanks so much for your support!

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