“Trust yourself, and you will know how to live.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Suzanne Jones, a Certified Hypnotherapist and a writer.
Each and every one of us has qualities unique to us. When we don’t utilize these qualities they go by the way side and are forgotten; much like the need for self-trust.
This may be the first time you are hearing about self-trust, and if it isn’t something you’re striving to achieve, it should be. This is because self-trust and intuition are very closely related if not intertwined.
Most of us were robbed of our intuition and self-trust as children. We were denied our own abilities and have spent years relying on the guidance of others. The problem with that is not one thing works for everyone.
For years I read numerous books, attended seminars, and listened to countless recordings. They all said the same thing regarding a particular topic. Somehow though, it didn’t work for me. I could never follow through on the required tasks in order to ‘succeed’ according to their standards.
I thought, “Certainly it must be me. I must be lazy and just sabotaging my own efforts.”
What I knew for sure was it just didn’t feel right for me. What I was doing was working yet everyone else was telling me I must do something else. No matter how much effort I put into doing it their way, I felt a pull in the other direction.
Quite some time went by until I listened to a recording on a whole new topic. I was pleasantly surprised to hear the speaker bring up this topic suggesting she totally and completely disagreed with the teachings of others as it did not work for her.
She felt limited and restricted and so did I.
I felt relieved. I took a deep breath and instantly relaxed, as if I was given permission to trust myself as I had been right about myself all along.
We have all experienced this feeling of relief and reassurance a time or two in our lives. What is necessary now is to get back to that feeling and associate it with any and all future decisions.
When something feels good we are usually on the right path, and conversely, if it doesn’t feel good, well, move on.
Distinguishing between feeling good for the right reasons however may be a little tricky if you aren’t used to trusting what your body is telling you. Let’s use love and infatuation for an example. Both feel good so you would instantly think you are going in the right direction.
Thinking further into it, ask yourself ‘what does this person bring that leads me to feel this way?’ ‘Am I truly in love or are they filling a void?’ This requires total and complete honesty. Break down your motivation for this relationship. Is it worth the small amount of time it will take? Absolutely!
There is a big difference in the feeling between the two. Love is smooth calm and relaxed like a gentle heartbeat. Infatuation is pounding rough around the edges with a hint of fear. Fear that is, as in lack. When you love someone you take it as it comes.
When infatuated you are fearful they may leave or you change who you are to please them, thus resulting in two separate feelings. The initial feeling may appear the same but with investigation, the two are very separate.
You must be real and know how to trust in yourself. It is in times when we rely so heavily on the doings of others that we lose ourselves slowly every day.
I have been in numerous situations where the pressure was on to make a quick decision. Sometimes it was a scary feeling. I had to instantly ponder both questions in my head and “feel” for the answer.
Have I got it wrong? Sure. But I would just revisit the feeling and take note for next time.
On the flip side, I have done things against all human logic, just knowing it was the right thing to do, and they have become the best decisions in my life.
The decisions I made led to scrutiny and disbelief by others, but I knew they were the right decisions, at least for me that is. Everything felt right. Logic did not matter. Everything felt right.
Decision making comes with a price whether you trust yourself or not, so why not make it your decision? Sometimes trusting myself caused pain in the moment, and I had to trust I could get through it.
There were times when I questioned what I had done. No matter what though, I still had that calmness inside insisting everything will be alright.
It was and it is alright. In fact better than you can imagine.
Whether raising kids, in a relationship, choosing a career, shopping, you need to be able to trust in you, to know what is right for you. There is no lack in the world. The only thing lacking is that we don’t trust ourselves enough to move us to the place we want to be.
This is a guest post from Suzanne Jones. Suzanne Jones is a Certified Hypnotherapist and a writer. Through the use of true life experiences she will break open the vault on self trust. Once inside the vault, you will shake fear and doubt forever.
Photo credit: notsogoodphotography