You Only Live Once So Make It Meaningful

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One of life’s biggest questions is, “What is my ultimate meaning and purpose?”

Discovering the purpose of life and finding meaning for why we are here is a quest taken to find greater happiness, wisdom, and our vocational calling.

Meaning helps us make sense of life and deal with our struggles and problems. It helps us relate to others and God in a more intimate manner, and reveals to us how we can live a life committed to something significant.

In order to take ownership of our life and move forward to the best of our ability, there are eight questions that we can answer to resolve some uncertainty about our existence. These are adapted from Psychologist Paul T. P. Wong’s The Quest for Meaning Scale (QMS).

8 questions to uncover meaning

1. Who am I?

Consider who you are deep down inside. Who is the real you without external conditions? Who are you without your relationships, job, and possessions?

2. How and where do I find happiness?

Consider what offers you joy and fulfillment as well as why you are dissatisfied with certain aspects of life. The cause of joy and satisfaction is different for everyone. In what situations do you have a noticeable sense of happiness and joy? In what life domains do you need to make changes?

3. What should I do with my life?

Consider you life mission and how you want to live your life. Is there a particular cause you are passionate about? What activities and responsibilities excite you? What would be an ideal lifestyle that fits with your values?

4. How can I avoid making the wrong choices in the major areas of my life?

How can you start making the right decisions and how will you know when you’re doing so? Consider what you have learned from past mistakes and struggles. Look for common patterns in your life that tend to cause pain and suffering. These patterns can be found in relationships, work, finances, etc. Find these destructive themes and change them.

5. Where do I belong?

Having a connection and sense of belonging is crucial for meaning. Where can you feel a sense of affiliation and acceptance? Consider your meaningful relationships and the community around you. Does your community and surrounding environment offer a sense of belonging?

6. What is the point of all my striving?

What is the point of all your hard work and commitment when life is so short? Consider your reasons for striving for success and achievement. Why is it that you seek more and desire to expand your lot in life? Uncover this and you will find immense motivation.

7. What will happen to me after I die?

There is a major spiritual component to making meaning. What are your beliefs about the afterlife? Do you live with fear of death or are you content and peaceful about your soul’s destination? Consider your belief system and how it impacts your perception of life and death. Is it offering comfort and peace, or fear, worry, and doubt?

8. What would make my life more meaningful and significant?

What would give you a sense of well-being and belonging? What does living a “good life” mean to you? Pay attention to your “gut” or spirit, and identify what fills you with vitality and purpose.

Answer these questions to start coming to terms with what you want from life. Determine where you still have some uncertainty and clarify your answer to make more sense of life.

Sources of meaning

Achievement and work – We can find meaning in our work and occupation as well as with the accomplishment of our goals and aspirations. What are your talents, skills, and strengths and how can you apply them to self-growth and achievement?

Spirituality – Spirituality offer a chance to enhance gratitude for what we have and hope for the future. Knowing there is something beyond our immediate existence provides encouragement that we can push beyond limits and become a better person. It also allows us to make sense of life’s mysteries.

Relationships – There is nothing more meaningful than having loving relationships where there is emotional intimacy and connection. We all need relationships to help us grow and develop. Relationships provide a context for much of what we do and are an important factor for making decisions.

Self-transcendence – When we dedicate our life to doing something beyond ourselves we realize what it’s like to feel significant. Understanding there is more to life than our personal fulfillment can expand our reason for living and alter our life’s purpose. Practice reaching beyond yourself to people you love or causes you care about.

Self-acceptance – Having self-awareness about our motives in the world can help us uncover meaning. This will involve coming to terms with our negative and positive traits and understanding that self-growth is an inherent part of fulfilling our life mission. Accept who you are today, but begin doing the work to become the person necessary to fulfill your desires.

Hopefully these ideas give you better sense of who you are and your place in the world. Keep refining your life philosophy and worldview. Be willing to ask “Why am I here?”

As you begin living with a greater sense of meaning you will grow more confident and find a greater sense of fulfillment. You will be able to deal with difficult situations and grow into a more enthusiastic and courageous person.

My Connection

I remember the first time I read the book Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. A friend lent it to me when I was about 19 and going through a difficult time. I got kicked out of where I was living, received some upsetting medical results, and was having relationships difficulties to boot.

Frankl’s message of an unwavering life purpose and meaning helped me realize that no matter what takes place in life we still have free will to act as we choose, and the capacity to make meaning for better or worse.

Giving up doesn’t have to be an option and we are not passive victims. I believe everyone is alive to express their talents and passions to world.

As I reviewed the questions in the post and contemplated my life meaning today, I realize the importance of a spiritual focus. Difficult decisions, our life calling, and awareness of our potential is supported by a spiritual foundation. I believe we can have a sense of meaning without spirituality, but I have realized that spirituality is paramount to living a life of meaning for me.

I will be dedicating much of my personal growth to spirituality over the next few months and will keep you posted on my experience and process.

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http://twitter.com/EnsoJourney Alejandro Reyes

Good questions to align our life, Joe!
I believe our work should reflect on the answers to the questions. We spend so much time working that we really need to be aligned, otherwise instead of meaning it will just be an unhealthy situations.I really live how you see this whole process in a holistic way. I’m truly happy to have found your site.
http://www.personal-success-factors.com/ steveborgman

Joe, thank you for sharing this profound post. I love the sources for meaning you shared with us. And thank you for talking about death and dying. While most people seem to try to avoid the topic, it’s one of the most important topics to deal with, I believe.
Betsy at Zen Mama

Victor Frankl keeps up up in my life! It’s time to read his book. Thanks for this incredible post. We’re all looking for meaning and you’ve provided a way to do it. I’m sending this on to my sons. Thanks!
Joe @ Shakeoffthegrind

Alejandro,

Hi, thanks so much for commenting! I agree that we spend so much time working it’s essential to find a sense of meaning in what we do. Meaning can be found in many different areas of life, however work, achievement, and self-growth is a primary means for me to find meaning in life. Glad to hear from you.
Joe @ Shakeoffthegrind

Hi Steve,

Great to hear from you! These topics were very helpful for me to consider and thought they would be helpful to share. When we can come to terms with death we are able to live more freely without the fear and uncertainty of this topic. I think spirituality and religion are a powerful source to make sense of life from this perspective and therefore important to establish clear beliefs. Thanks so much!
Joe @ Shakeoffthegrind

Hi Betsy,

Thanks for commenting! Yes “A Man’s Search for Meaning” has some great insight into finding meaning within tragedy. It offers a story from his Holocaust experience and is worth a read. Hopefully if you share it with your sons they’ll enjoy it.
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http://twitter.com/KaizenVision Aileen

Great questions to ask ones self!”Man’s Search for Meaning” is such a powerful book. When ever there’s a moment when I’m feeling unable to connected to gratitude and really reach a higher feeling thought, I just re-read a few pages and I’m re-aligned.Great choice to point out such a powerful book in this post :)
http://www.limitlessbelieving.com/ Stuart Mills

Hey Joe,

A very solid post, and on a topic that I always love to ponder on!

I consider myself fortunate that I have discovered a degree of meaning to my life. I know I want to help others become better individuals, and I know that a ‘therapy’-based career is a good one for me, perhaps in psychotherapy or psychology. I know that I love empowering people, and that I place great value on family and nurturing loved ones.

There’s still such a long way for me to go, but it pleases me that I have discovered so much about myself. I’ll keep searching

Thanks for sharing Joe!
Fran Sorin

Joe….A really fine post that offers great information on some important questions and offering ideas on how to find/make meaning in our lives. I’ve always been interested in death. I remember from the time I was young I would ask my mother ‘What happens at the moment of death?’ As a minister, I have the privilege of witnessing individuals’ journeys to this destination…it’s incredible. I the George Harrison documentary directed by Martin Scorcese, as he became more spiritual, Harrison said that the meaning of life is preparing for death. It struck a deep chord in me. It is all about letting go of our ego, surrendering to the unknown and mystery of being on this earth, and letting our soul take center stage. These are the deep waters…and I love it! Fran
Joe @ Shakeoffthegrind

Hi Aileen,

Thanks for commenting! I usually try to not ask victimizing “why” questions, but when it comes to a topic such as meaning asking “why” is so important to uncover the reasons we do what we do. You are dead on when you mention how this relates to “higher feelings” because when we are able to live from a meaningful understanding we will be in a more peaceful place as well as an excited and motivated one.
Joe @ Shakeoffthegrind

Hi Stuart,

Thanks for sharing your insight and sources of meaning. I think that like many other facets of our self-concept and self-awareness finding our purpose and meaning can be a life long process, and a shifting one. I didn’t mention it in the post and probably should’ve but it seems that our values, and what’s most important to us, is directly related to what gives us meaning. It sounds like you have tapped in to many of these things in your life.
Joe @ Shakeoffthegrind

Hi Fran,

Thanks so much for adding this insight to the post! I haven’t seen that documentary but will make a point to now. Asking the question “why am I here” is a very spiritual one from my perspective and I love how you mention that it’s about letting go and surrendering. That is one of the most difficult things to do in my opinion, but during those times when we aren’t living from the ego it can really shift how the world is seen and what’s most important. I imagine that when someone is nearing the end of their life they let go of their ego and are able to see things from a transcended perspective. This would be a more peaceful perspective at least.
http://www.meanttobehappy.com/ Ken Wert

Great stuff here, Joe! I think knowing the right questions to ask is half the battle. So many people ask things like, “Why me?” and “How can I get away with this?” and “Why does life suck so much for me?” that they never let themselves start coming up with the right answers. The key to getting to a solution that will be helpful is knowing what questions lead to it. Your questions will profoundly help anyone willing to ask them. Then your sources of meaning just adds icing to the cake as we consider ways of living more meaningful lives. I especially like what you said about self-acceptance, particularly reminding us that part of the process of accepting ourselves is to do the work of self development to become an ever-growing and improving person of character and quality. That, I’ve found, is the most lasting and authentic way to be self-accepting.

Thanks for the great article, Joe!
Joe – Shakeoffthegrind

Hi Ken,

Thanks for your thoughtful and insightful comment! I totally agree that we should be careful of the questions we ask ourselves. We can set ourselves up for discouraging and meaningless answers if we aren’t conscious of our inner dialogue. To me a meaningful life comes from utilizing my potential and trying to add a positive contribution to the world. This comes from putting in the hard work to grow and expand our self-awareness and self-control.
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